I consider a young parent to be between the ages of 15 and 21. There are many stereotypes for parents of this age. The biggest stereotype is that parents this age aren't mature enough to understand how to care for a child. I had my son when I was 16. His father and I got married and were living on our own when we were 17. We are both 23 now, this year marks our 6th year of marriage and our 8th year together, our son is almost 7 and our daughter is almost 3. We're told by so many people that our children are so well behaved and that we're wonderful parents, so from where does this stereotype come?
I began thinking about this in recent years. My oldest brother is 33 years old. He is married and his only son is 1.5 years old. My second brother is almost 32 and he is married and his only son is 6 weeks old. My sister is 30 and she is about 22 weeks along with her first child.
They have all called me from time to time, asking me questions about feeding, and parenting, and dying for tips to help them along. My oldest brother asked me how I felt the difference between false labor and true labor. I explained that in true labor, you can feel the uterus contract from outside the body if you rest your hand on the top. I learned this in my experience with pregnancy. My second brother wanted to know when he could expect to get some sleep; a rookie question. My sister has delusions that her daughter is going to be treated like a princess, but not spoiled.
It's not age that makes a person suitable to be a parent, it's maturity. When I was 15, I was skipping school, sneaking into movies, lying to my parents about where I was. When I found out I was pregnant, I buckled down in school, I got a job, I sprang into maturity because I needed to. I no longer saw my friends as good company, because their behavior wasn't consistent with mine.
There are thirty-somethings that never mature. I went shopping with my mother the other day, and there was a thirty-something woman shopping with her son who looked about 3 years old. She was picking out some pants for him to try on, and was letting him play with a few toys nearby. As children do, he found something he had to have, and wanted to carry it around. She wanted him to put it back and join her in the fitting room, but rather than ask him calmly, she immediately yelled, "Put the damn car down, get in here and try on this pants, we don't have all day!" In the fitting room, I could hear him, "I can't unbutton my pants mommy." "Well, you better learn it now, because you're wasting my time." She obviously wasn't mature enough to be a parent. He's far too young to be frustrated with. I can understand being upset with a teenager, who has a concept of time, is old enough to try clothes, but is wasting time; but a 3 year old deserves patience.
It is true that many teens aren't good parents, but many adults aren't better either. Now, even though I had a child at 16, doesn't mean I encourage it. The point of this post is to explain that maturity doesn't always come with age. The next time you judge a teen parent before you know them, think of all the adult women that are imprisoned because they hurt their kids.
I began thinking about this in recent years. My oldest brother is 33 years old. He is married and his only son is 1.5 years old. My second brother is almost 32 and he is married and his only son is 6 weeks old. My sister is 30 and she is about 22 weeks along with her first child.
They have all called me from time to time, asking me questions about feeding, and parenting, and dying for tips to help them along. My oldest brother asked me how I felt the difference between false labor and true labor. I explained that in true labor, you can feel the uterus contract from outside the body if you rest your hand on the top. I learned this in my experience with pregnancy. My second brother wanted to know when he could expect to get some sleep; a rookie question. My sister has delusions that her daughter is going to be treated like a princess, but not spoiled.
It's not age that makes a person suitable to be a parent, it's maturity. When I was 15, I was skipping school, sneaking into movies, lying to my parents about where I was. When I found out I was pregnant, I buckled down in school, I got a job, I sprang into maturity because I needed to. I no longer saw my friends as good company, because their behavior wasn't consistent with mine.
There are thirty-somethings that never mature. I went shopping with my mother the other day, and there was a thirty-something woman shopping with her son who looked about 3 years old. She was picking out some pants for him to try on, and was letting him play with a few toys nearby. As children do, he found something he had to have, and wanted to carry it around. She wanted him to put it back and join her in the fitting room, but rather than ask him calmly, she immediately yelled, "Put the damn car down, get in here and try on this pants, we don't have all day!" In the fitting room, I could hear him, "I can't unbutton my pants mommy." "Well, you better learn it now, because you're wasting my time." She obviously wasn't mature enough to be a parent. He's far too young to be frustrated with. I can understand being upset with a teenager, who has a concept of time, is old enough to try clothes, but is wasting time; but a 3 year old deserves patience.
It is true that many teens aren't good parents, but many adults aren't better either. Now, even though I had a child at 16, doesn't mean I encourage it. The point of this post is to explain that maturity doesn't always come with age. The next time you judge a teen parent before you know them, think of all the adult women that are imprisoned because they hurt their kids.
